A Love Letter To My Best Friend

I spend a lot of time in the car. I commute over an hour to work a few times a week and I live in LA, so let’s just say I am often in traffic. Similarly to how people get their best ideas in the shower, mine come to me when I am behind the wheel. I was thinking that this week I would write about all of the times I have had my heart broken, because boy have I had my heart broken a lot. While I was recalling most of those times I kept arriving to the same thought. My best friend Priya has been seated right next to me through the last six plus years of tragedies I have endured, truly by my side and if not always in person definitely in spirit.

Pri has not carried the torch entirely on her own, I am lucky to have some of the best friends a girl could ask for. But she is my soul mate, and I am dedicating today’s issue to her, and also us. Our friendship has been a crash course in how to handle interpersonal relationships, and we always overcome obstacles closer and with more love for one another. Growing up neither of us always had the freedom to advocate for ourselves, and we have had to learn how to do that as adults with each other as the first test dummies. Without her I wouldn’t know how to do it at all.

When I met Priya I was 18 years old and had not a single clue what was coming for me, I was only a few weeks into UCLA when we suddenly became attached at the hip. She was a year ahead of me but it honestly felt like we had been traveling solo in the world up to that point and were meant to move forward together. (I know that sounds dramatic af, but seriously, it was fate) For the next two years, one of us couldn’t arrive somewhere alone without being asked where the other one was, and we liked it that way. Over time we obviously had to do our own things, but what stuck around was the family bond we had created.

Over the years we have both lost a lot. Partners, friends, opportunities, and a handful of times ourselves. I remember a time when my mom’s health started to decline in 2019, she had asked a 21-year-old Priya to take care of me when she passed. That was a heavy weight to put on a person, but P owned it. Around that time and after my mom’s death, I had entirely lost myself. I was wrapped up in a not so great relationship, I was partying constantly, and I was not being a great friend. Priya was patient and kind while still meeting me with the accountability I needed to stay alive. She was also gracious, while I was angry at everyone in the world she stayed and let me find myself again, and held my hand through it.

I have a hard time accepting love. Which might sound funny because I myself am a very outwardly loving person. Dishing it out is easy, but getting it back is uncomfortable and I don’t always believe it. When I was growing up I always believed I had to have something to prove in order to receive love, that I needed to “be good”. Priya was one of the first people in my life that I felt let me just “be", I didn’t have to prove anything. I spent forever not knowing that was even possible. I won’t speak for her but I have an inkling she felt the same way. We were safe to show up as ourselves, not free of judgment necessarily (we are an opinionated pair lol), but free of harm.

My girl P has not had it easy either, and while I will not spill her secrets without her consent I will say this: something that has held us both together through every heart breaking disappointment is the constant knowing that the other one of us would be there, waiting. Waiting to pick up the pieces when the time was right. It is easy to find yourself again when there is someone prepared to help you get back to it. I think that is what best friends really are. The people who know you, better than anyone else, that help keep your character, self, in tact.

Life is long and there are many mountains I'll have to climb in my future. I am lucky to have a buddy that will climb them with me for the rest of time. Someone who sees me, for who I am, and always makes sure I remember. Pri encourages me and supports me to keep discovering what I am capable of and I do the same for her. Life is a lot better when you let people love you, and she was the first person that showed me I could do that. I am very lucky.

If you have someone this reminds you of, send them a text today. Tell them how much they mean to you, or maybe send this to them! As always, please reply with your thoughts, feedback, or things you want me to write about. Also I promised one very important subscriber a handwritten note and I promise I’ll send it. Thank you for being here, ily.